Finding out I got cheated on

is, wow. It makes me speechless. I should’ve seen it coming with the lies building on top of another and the expensive gifts. It makes sense when I wondered why he would pick fights for no reason. When he told me he just wanted to have fun and didn’t want to be with me until after college, I should’ve known the truth. When he pointed fingers at me and yet I was the one who was loyal, I couldn’t understand why. I’m trying to remember everything but they’ve become faded memories. I couldn’t even confront even if I tried. He would just deny it and it’s already all in the past.

He’s a great guy and he is now with another girl and I am now with another guy. years went down the drain and I wish I could take it back but I can’t. I hope he treats her better than he treated me and I hope she is happy because I wouldn’t wanna see this happen again. I know I am definitely more than happy with my boyfriend right now, because it still feels like the honeymoon stage where it can’t be real. When I told him what happened, he sang can’t help but wait by Trey songz haha. So adorable. When people ask if I’m hurt, the answer is, I’m more relieved than hurt. I’m just more annoyed that people thought I actually cheated. Hilarious. I can now look back and realize I made the right choice by following my heart. I knew something was wrong. I knew the lies were there and i was blinded. I left for a reason and i just couldnt explain why it felt wrong to stay. I mean, I can but this post isn’t meant to reopen those wounds. I am just relieved because I have no regrets.

foralwaysandfornever asked: Heyyy! Welcome back on tumblr!! ^____^ <3

<3 tehee thank you!

Knicks PG is just like the Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher. Temporary position and no one can permanently fulfill it. :(

That feeling

When I lay next to him <3

Another Poem

And they say it doesn’t matter but their words don’t help me find my way
and they point in all the wrong directions
but it seems like it’s to push me away

They don’t seem to realize it doesn’t make me feel any better
not to worry you’ll make it alive doesn’t tell me
they care and if they did, they lied

i forgot what it felt like to breathe
when i share the air as they watch me choke myself
i forgot what it felt like to live
when i surrender my days to everyone else

for when you listen to someone else
you lose a part of yourself
when you hold yourself back you’ll slowly fade away

and this path i’m walking leads me to nowhere
but it’s all mine these thoughts
i’m thinking doesn’t make any sense
but it’s all mine
all mine.

This was written, because when I’m hurting I explain the situation to my friends & I look for comfort and instead of talking about how I feel, they focused on the situation instead saying, “It’s not a big deal. Forget about it. You’ll be fine.” when in the end, I just wanted to hear “If you don’t have them, you’ll always have me.” or just anything along the lines that addresses how I feel instead of neglecting it altogether because at the end of the conversation, I’m still hurting. They just try to say the quick generic phrases to make you feel better, but it’s really to push away an uncomfortable topic for them.

The next part talks about how I always sacrifice my time and help people out, from editing their essays to listening to them cry to just being there for them even if my schedule’s busy, because if you really care you’ll make time somehow. I always believed if you have time to eat shower sleep, talk to your beloved, you have time for one more person who really needs you. And in the end, they won’t remember the small moments and the small sacrifices a week later or ever.

The last part talks about what I believe in. Instead of focusing on my feelings, they tell me how to feel or what I should do and what is right to them. “Don’t worry about it. You’ll be fine. This is what you should do.” No, it’s not. It may be right for you, but it’s not for me and if I listen to you, I won’t make my own mistakes and if I mess up on life, I can’t mess it up too badly where I lose everything that matters to me. I’m going to stand firm on being my own person, whether they accept me or not and even if it means being alone always.

First 10 reblogs will be promoted.

mycinderelladream:

I have decided to break my promo rule after 2 years so go for it. 

Must be following mycinderelladream.tumblr.com   (I will check.) 

Today, I changed my name in my dad’s phone to ‘God’ and when he swore, I texted him saying “I HEARD THAT!”

He was like

Priceless.

(Source: most-awkward-moments)